While impatiently, patiently waiting for my daughter to have her fourth child (she was a week overdue as I began writing this), I found myself caring for her three children, ages eight, six, and two.
The older two have been through this before. They understand that when a new baby arrives, Mom’s attention is naturally divided. But the youngest has reigned as the undisputed queen of the household. She’s never experienced sharing her royal subjects with anyone else.
As we navigated those uncertain days together, I found myself reflecting on the things every human being needs—whether we’re two years old or ninety-two. Sometimes profound lessons come from the smallest teachers.
The Need for Autonomy
“I can do it!”
She was determined to climb into the SUV by herself, settle into her car seat, and pull the shoulder straps over her chest. Every step required careful balancing, stretching, and determination. It took four times longer than if I had simply lifted her in, but the look of accomplishment on her face made every extra minute worthwhile.
Sometimes independence is less about efficiency and more about dignity.
The Desire to Be Heard
Once her parents left for the hospital, she quickly realized I was the one who could grant her every request.
She invited me to enjoy salads made from green felt lettuce and wooden radishes, carefully mixed in her little bowl and served with tiny wooden tongs. She pushed a child-sized shopping cart overflowing with babies sporting wild hair and partially buttoned clothing. She wanted blankets wrapped just right, books read over and over, and constant participation in her imaginary world.
She was content for long stretches, as long as she knew I was available when she needed me. More than anything, she wanted to know that someone was listening.
The Communication Gap
It wasn’t always easy to understand what she was asking for.
One afternoon she repeatedly requested “Yogi.”
I searched for toys, books, stuffed animals—anything that sounded remotely like “Yogi.” Each unsuccessful attempt increased her frustration. First came the frown, then the high-pitched scream, and finally the dramatic throwing of arms into the air.
Then it dawned on me.
She wasn’t asking for “Yogi.” She wanted yogurt bites from the snack cabinet.
Crisis averted. The world was once again safe from a full-scale toddler meltdown.
It reminded me how often frustration comes, not from unwillingness, but from simply not understanding one another.
The Need for Safety and Connection
A few mornings she woke much earlier than usual, almost as though she sensed that something significant was changing.
With her parents at the hospital, she called out repeatedly.
“Yaya! Yaya! Yaya!”
She wasn’t settling down, so I lifted her from her crib and held her. She was inconsolable.
As I rocked her and kissed her little face, I whispered over and over, “You’re okay. You’re safe.”
Gradually, her little body relaxed. Her cries stopped. She rested peacefully in my arms.
When I laid her back in her crib, I told her I would stay beside her. Every few moments she would lift her head just enough to make sure I was still there. Eventually she trusted that I hadn’t left, closed her eyes, and drifted back to sleep.
Sometimes the greatest comfort isn’t solving a problem. It’s simply the quiet assurance that someone is staying.
The Need for Consistency
The days often became rushed. We hurried to get home for nap time, planned meals around familiar routines, and tried to keep life as predictable as possible despite the excitement surrounding the new baby.
It wasn’t worth the short-term peace of sugary snacks or rearranging everything to fit my own schedule. She needed rhythms she could count on.
Consistency became an anchor. It reduced anxiety, restored peace, and helped all of us make it through the day—without overdosing on caffeine.
Lessons Beyond Toddlerhood
Watching a two-year-old reminded me that our basic human needs don’t really change with age.
We all long for a measure of independence. We all want someone to listen. We all become frustrated when we aren’t understood. We all need to know we’re safe, loved, and that someone will stay beside us when life feels uncertain. And we all find comfort in consistency when everything around us is changing.
As adults, we’ve simply become better at disguising those needs.
I also found myself thinking about our natural responses to fear: fight, flight, or freeze. If I had to guess, this little one is going to be a fighter. She doesn’t easily accept “no” for an answer. She’s strong-willed, determined, nurturing, and already willing to stand her ground. I have a feeling those qualities, shaped with wisdom and kindness, will serve her well.
And by the way…
Little Cruz finally made his grand entrance on July 26, 2026—a beautiful baby boy weighing in at an impressive 9 pounds, 4 ounces. His arrival marked not only another wonderful milestone for our family, but the beginning of a brand-new chapter for his big sister, who is learning that even queens can make room in their hearts for a little prince.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. What basic human needs would you add to this list?
Best,
Mary and The Team
Amber, Denise, Laurel, Analisa, Cami, Laura, Jenna, Debra, Rebecca, John, Ann, Shannon, and Evita